Five months apart
by virtue of obligation
Cupid shot a manic dart
love long distance palpitation
in anticipation I remain confined
it has gotten mad here in my mind.
Heard it through the grapevine
my honey got down on one knee
inside I'm salty as the brine
news that left me an amputee.
Nuptial vows at the altar my soul flay
we missed our chance to break chastity
purity I vow to put on display
our love of your principles a casualty.
I'd serve my heart for you on a silver platter
knew it full well but didn't matter
fear not I won't cause a commotion
keeping hush the forbidden emotion.
Remember we are masters of disguise
forever holding my peace lest joy I jeopardise
craven my partner for cutting our cord
falsehood is sin all the same before the Lord.
Tired and sore facing the fountain of life
teetering on razor-edged knife
holding in hand my tarnished grail
contemplating what if I'd thrown it away
found corrupt so I let myself derail
have had my fill of watching pendula sway
communion won't magically pay my bail
hence I languidly break out of living jail.
Refusal to drink another dose
doctors have failed this case to diagnose
elect to end myself by bowse
toss an almost two decades spirit lowse.
At odds with God within my head
failing to stand Him in good stead
unwilling to comprehend the meaning of all
keep on keeping on my prideful free fall.
Submerged in preference labels and rebel abyss
what's left of me is a political correctly fleece
indicator of my life as hit-and-miss
distanced myself from natural laws and bliss
nihilistic despair sets in and blows me a kiss.
For I let myself foolishly slip
allowed the fever in to creep
while my toddler eyes trusted censorship
feasted on the smoke and mirrors gig
intoxicating heresy sentenced me to trip
along with my contemporaries in too deep.
Cosmic monk by choice
without a beseeching voice
a ghost trapped in a sinful shell
prepped by the elite scytel gateaux
adorned by gem intentions too faux
definitely to suffer well in hell.
Daily confrontations with flesh
meat clashes with Holy Crèche
steeped utterly in denial
in search for the miraculous vial
on self-imposed detention
fighting off divine cathartic confession.
Feeding the flames of desire's conflagration
seeking after the delectable caress of aberration
vicious circle jerk of back and forth
imprisoned by ouroboros thenceforth.
Sinful hypocrite yet saintly virgin
in immaculate waters cloistral sturgeon
sexual lust is a fast swimmer
for me is guilt it lets me simmer.
Useless my open wounds won't heal
sinking in the bathtub deliverance I feel
hallucination or reality I see your face
reach for my hand and take me to that place.
Help me undress my phony
once more press your lips against mine
don't leave me in acrimony
and promise me in the end we both be fine
our souls will make it to where the angels dine.
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